Life Coaching and key AWARDS SEVEN MASTERFUL communications
Life Coaching and key AWARDS SEVEN MASTERFUL communications
Neuro-Semantics (Meta Coaching Foundation) is a discipline of communication, for high quality and masterful communication skills. Derivatives of NLP and cognitive-behavioral sciences, we have identified seven critical distinctions to release their improved communication skills and performance and to mobilize resources to become the communicator professional master is possible.
These seven critical distinctions are based extension of the meta-model (see Communication Magic, 2000) and the Model Meta-States. With them you have the ability to make distinctions seven replicates all makes masterful communicator.
– What are these key distinctions?
– What do they mean?
– How do you learn the distinction is so intuitive?
The seven critical distinctions of a masterful communicator
"Genius" in each area is to make distinctions, making finer and the critical distinctions that others do not. In the area of being a professional communicator, it is to distinguish between the following
1) Map and Territory
2) Person and Conduct
3) Sense and Response
4) Sensory Evaluation and information
5) Structure and Sentiment
6) Explore and Affirming (examination and counting)
7) State current and desired
Now, when someone (perhaps themselves as a coach) can clearly make these distinctions and use these distinctions as the frameworks governing communication, communication eliminates diseases. Do you know about these diseases? These create huge dis-ease in the process of trying to understand and work out negotiations. Ellis and Beck's cognitive-behavioral psychology describes these as ways of making yourself and others miserable.
– Confusion words with reality
– Read the mind and hallucinating
– Judging, judgmentalism, exaggerating
– Emotionalizing: minimize, maximize
– Customization: over identification, defensive
– Blaming, accusations and insults.
– Distraction, changing the subject, refusing to focus.
By contrast, the seven critical distinctions create the basis for the abilities of deep and powerful states to facilitate the best of communication. These include:
– The sensory awareness
– Ability to be present at the time and focus on the now
– Intensification again in an observation or witness state that facilitates objectivity
– How ego aside to be as "clean" as possible (a key feature Coaching Staff)
– To be open and receptive to feedback
– Flexibility to adapt to time information real and make course corrections
– Systems thinking and recognition of leverage points
– Exploration of curiosity to discover what is
– Seeking clarity in the definition of problems
– Settlement of forward thinking approach in creating motion
– Suspend meaning it can not be true dialogue
Master Frame # 1: different maps TERRITORY
"The map is not the territory" summarizes the wisdom of common sense that a map is never the territory they purport to represent. The menu is not food, and manual sex is not making love, the picture is not the person. These are different phenomena. They operate at different levels and in different dimensions.
So simple, yet so profound. So simple and so easy to forget. How and when we forget? When we think (and feel) that what we think (our maps), what we perceive, what we believe, what we value, which we identify, etc. is what is real. That is the illusion. Yet never is, can not be. At best it can be a good map, useful and accurate enough about it.
But when we forget, we identify. We identify the map and territory. What I think about something that is real, is the last word, is absolute, no doubt, is unquestionable, etc. And this describes the concrete thinker, the absolutists, an expert in the pulpit blows he has "Answers", the guru who demands blind obedience and unquestioning, fundamentalists in every system (Christians, Muslims, liberals, conservatives, politicians, etc.).
Map is everything inside, the way the outside world to impacts your senses and sensory receptors (eyes, ears, skin, etc.) Map is all ideas, beliefs, conceptions, feelings, memories, etc. that are created in the around inside. We do not deal with the world directly, but indirectly. We interface with the electromagnetic spectrum as mediated through our sense receptors, neuro-pathways, cerebral cortices, beliefs, belief systems, etc Territory is the outside world, all the experiences, words, facts and events "out there. "
The masterful communicator knows that all our maps is fallible and is in its highest development, being our best estimate. He or she We also know that the value of a map is on its utility is that is able to provide some navigational guidance as we move through the world and experiences. Does the map match rather well so that we can use to guide our thoughts and actions? Do you provide the experiences that I want to have? To accomplish the things I want to accomplish?
How well do you recognize that all of their mental maps about things is just that, a map? How much does it cost to state of mind? How fast are you to explore and ask questions instead of going into god mode "of saying, demanding, or give advice? What is their land recognizing that their feelings are functions of the maps, not the world? How intuitive distinction has been handled in a way that you recognize that each and every emotion is the difference between the map of the world and his experience in the world?
These are questions that help us benchmark where we are in our own development to make the distinction map between territory and meta-shows with this as a premise to move around the world to become our knowing (intuition), how we communicate.
The frame Principal # 2: DISTINGUISHING PERSON AND BEHAVIOR
A person is not their behavior. What we do is different from what we are. In this sense, we are more than our behavior. Our behaviors are expressions of our thinking and feeling, expressions of our statements, understandings, skills, development, context, environment, and many others variables. In this our behavior over time of the incompetence (at birth) with varying degrees of competition and perhaps even the domain of a number areas. Our behavior at 2 years of age, 13, 23, 37 or 65 are the behaviors and reflect our learning, skills, discipline, interest, etc at that time.
Our behaviors are also fallible and always inevitably. What we do is a function of how our skills, talents, strengths and weaknesses, opportunities and learning come together in a given context and time to express ourselves. This is performance. Leads to the achievements or lack of progress. This is the area call self-confidence, confidence in what we do, in our abilities and skills.
What we are, well, that's a different matter and dimension. What are we? We are a kind of life that is semantically governed. Without the kind of animals have instincts, we have a room to define what do and how to be. Nobody is born knowing how to be, how to live, work. We have to learn, we learn. Using our minds to learn is the quality instinct human pair.
What else are we? We are a kind of life that has the ability to reflect on ourselves and to create the conceptual frameworks that we are beings a high degree of reflection that inevitably (and unavoidably) reflect on ourselves, our states, our thoughts, our feelings, our experiences, our history, our future, our origins, our destiny, our values, our meanings. It is this reflexivity that gives us a special power, the power to transcend our state, our time, ourselves, and to build a frameset, an entire matrix of frames.
This describes one of our biggest challenges in life, dealing with reflective mind, the refle
ctive mind management. The problem is that unless we get our higher mind, so we can go into a spin. We can reflect back on ourselves with anger, fear, anxiety, worry, etc. and then reflect on our anger-in-our-self with more anger, fear, stress, shame, guilt, etc to make the layer upon layer, and can create self-sabotage as our way of moving around the world.
Do this when you are simply trying to gather information which we communicate and we have set ourselves and the other is to spin. It depends on what the meta-state to the other. Meta-state itself and / or other with suspicion, fear, anger, hatred, trial, communication etc and see turned into a fight, they become distorted, become misunderstandings, they become ugly and painful.
No wonder that this person distinguish between the behavior is fundamental to become more professional as a communicator. I am more than my behavior, 're just your behavior. The behavior is the behavior and always fallible and therefore always game for editing and adjusting. Speaking about the behavior is not talking that ultimately are. However, if you do not make that distinction, we feel that we are being attacked. And that will lead to defensiveness, the trial, cries, closed-mindedness, self-righteousness, counterattack, and the responses of climbing.
Is the person distinguish between behavior that allows us to walk in the state of being an "insult to us to appease someone who has" lost "and has become critical, blaming, accusing, etc. We become more professional and more brilliant in so far as we can manage our own state, to stay focused on the topic and item are separated from one person.
Master Frame # 3: MEANING DISTINGUISHING AND RESPONSE
This distinction is best expressed in the NLP premise, "The meaning of your communication is the response you get, regardless of his intention. "And the rest of this premise is:" We never know what we have communicated. We never know what the other "ear." It is only in response the other person that we can begin to discover what the other person listens, "the meanings that generates other, and therefore that was inadvertently co-creator ( communication, the communion of the meaning). "
Due to Neuro-Semantics is about the meanings (semantics) that communicate and are scheduled in our bodies (neurology) and the meanings and then act or conduct, that is, is a phenomenon of mind-body system. It does not exist outside the world. In this, ie is not externally real. There is no "out there." I never walked down the street and unshaven more of a sense that someone fell. Not that kind of things.
Meaning is a construct, a construction that occurs within a body-mind-emotion, and a construction that only comes from the way that link and associated things, and then apply reflexively to ourselves as our frame of reference or framework of meaning. So the meaning is internal response is an external thing. They differ radically, occurring in different dimensions.
That's why the response of a person begins to give us a clue about the meaning that must exist in the mind of another. Therefore, further exploring. What have you heard? What does that mean for you? And if we discover that the other meanings has built not intended to convey, we may ask if you can try again. "Sorry, that's not what I was trying to say. I'll give it another chance. "
This distinction between the response means also means that the response of another person is not the same as the meanings they give to it. The other was emphasis on the tone of voice is only one answer, what meanings we give to our meanings. It may coincide with that of other meanings, maybe not. If we do not suspend our meanings, and if not we will not know you are just hallucinations.
When automatically and quickly attribute meaning to responses of others who come from our maps of the world and what we are hallucinating what it means for us. We are not communicating. Do not let the other person the opportunity to pass its meaning. We jump to conclusions and perhaps confusing map / territory and then the assumption that the meanings we create is what the other is saying or doing. It is a great way to create confusion and distortions and to ruin relationships.
To avoid that we must use common sense distinction between the response to our advantage and make a of the hardest things for us the meaning of policy makers to do, ie, to explore the meanings and the other state to refuse to excess confidence of our meanings. This is what the most masterful in communicating to do. They know they do not know. They know that most seductive in the world is that come from our sense of buildings (our parent) and look through our filters responses.
They also know that this is the formula to be blind and deaf to others. That's why we just witnessed the answers and responses to distinguish the meaning is so important to stay in the game.
Master Frame # 4: distinguishing the sensory data and evaluation
When I took my first NLP training with Richard Bandler, a refrain repeated over and over again. He said : "If you're going to be a professional communicator, one must distinguish sensory information and reviews based on the basis of the information. If you can not, make a mess of media company. "This was my first introduction to the Meta-model to trace how to manage allocation within a sense-maker so that we can ask questions of accuracy and meet the other person on his map of the world, rather than on our map.
sense data information is produced and impact events of our senses and recipients of the senses and at first is outside our conscious awareness. At the time it enters the consciousness, we feel "to see, hear, feel, smell and taste that information and representational, so you can track that information to the screen Film mind. That's when we started making our films inside and bring the world inside our mind and re-introduce ourselves. This was also a stroke of genius of NLP, who believe in the languages sensory images, sounds, sensations, etc.
Yet all this is very, very different assessment data. Meanwhile, on our mind, the first thing sensory representations and then make assessments about it. This is the meta-stating process take a step back from ourselves, in our minds, and that other thoughts and feelings to her. In doing so, we abstract a level as to draw conclusions, make generalizations, distortions, make decisions, invent beliefs, joint intentions, etc.
You can tell that you or another logical level has jumped a level assessment, if you can not put the words, words, phrases, or language in a table. We can put those on the sensory words on the table or chair, or in a wheelbarrow. Chair. Dog. Green grass. The man with the big nose. But you can not put the references in the language of assessment on the table. Good, bad, brilliant, disappointing rude, nice, mean, beautiful. In the evaluations, these things are creatures of the mind.
This is where the meta-model is a tool for creating specificity, precision and clarity. We use the linguistic distinctions that our assessments of great height at the screen representation. With questions accuracy, we step back from our array of reality and re-invented the sensory life.
However, this is the challenge. Most of us are so easy to be seduced and mesmerized by the language of assessment and not do the sensory / evaluation distinction. Someone says: "He's mean. He criticized the waiter. "And we'll invent our amazing and meanings about what those words nonspecific means. In this sense, there is no evil", "no" rude " no "goodness" does not hurt "," "Healing", beyond the sensory world. These are words from the world of evaluation of the mind. And unless you ask, "What does this word mean?" "How do you know that it is this X?" We are not communicating, we are in a trance
we are imposing our hypnotic trance or others.
Each time you accuse someone of being defensive, hypocritical, inconsistent, loving, sensitive, intuitive, or ten thousand other things, to be a teacher, we need to communicate immediately feel the lack of precision, the inability to track those words directly the theater of our mind, and begin to explore questions of Meta-Model. If we do, we will be seduced into a story. And as we enter a trance, we are creating more and more misrepresentations and distortions, which puts us further away from clear communication.
Without this sensory evaluation distinction that communicators and large poor mind readers. Then you can even impose our judgments on others and never have a clue that's what we're doing. With the best intentions try to understand others, we are actually unable to see anything, but looking through our filters. Our judgments then exit in a more subtle, so you can make it almost impossible for the other to lure the charges.
That is why it is more kind and compassionate thing we can do with our loved ones to drill in this distinction between sensory / assessment data so that we stop imposing our maps and judgments about them. Doing so is not an act of love.
Master Frame # 5: FRAMEWORK AND FEELING DISTINGUISHING
As the sensory / evaluation distinction is produced within us and differ in different levels of experience, so the distinction between the context of feeling. This is what makes both of these distinctions difficult to catch and take training to develop this intuitive knowledge. They are produced in and you can skip the levels of a nana second. Indeed, if sensory evaluation is difficult to catch, under distinction between feeling is probably even more difficult.
Marco refers to our value judgments, interpretations, beliefs, decisions, history, values, criteria, etc and is from these larger frames in our array that creates our feelings. Emotions as the "movement" (movement) "out" (Ex-) of a response as our motor cortex is activated by our assessments. That's why an emotion is the difference between our map of the world and our experience of the world. We feel the motion and the motion of our body through the ideas, beliefs and understandings in our mind in relation to how well those ideas work in the outside world.
Marco and feelings relate to the systemic level. In general, our frames to create our emotions. However, the circular nature of a system with elements interactive means that our emotions can influence and even create our frames. However, they are different phenomena. The feelings are mostly expressions of our frames. That is why just because we feel something, which in itself is no reason to act in it and certainly not submit to it. The framework can be toxic, distorted or wrong.
The feelings are mostly symptoms of our frames and indicate that we may need to update or change or update the framework and improve our abilities to relate to the world as sailing on a ring. And while the symptoms are important as information signals are different from the cause, frame. Because our emotions into account the difference between our maps and experiencing the territory, all right. Rightly weigh the difference. Also are relative, they are on assignment and experience. However, because our study can be turned off and our neurology (health, skills, competencies, environment, etc.) may be out, emotions inspire us to explore, to discover what is creating the difference.
The danger is to establish a framework of belief in our emotions and thoughts that we have to "be faithful to them." That was the big mistake during the 1960s with emotional therapies. They made more primary emotion that school. An even bigger mistake is to assume that "if you feel something, that is evidence and proof that something is real." Believe that and you become a slave to his all emotions and emotional experiences become so semantically loaded, which may come to believe in all kinds of crazy.
If we can get to be more professional as a communicator. If we do, we can kiss goodbye because they customize things, emotionalize (we assume that we have to obey all the feelings we experience, and if we feel something has to be), minimize, maximize, exaggerate, and driven and tormented by other cognitive distortions.
Master Frame # 6: different browsers and AFFIRMING
When it comes to communicating, there are dozens and dozens of things we can do with words. However, the two main categories are exploring and asserting. Explored by asking questions, curiosity, wondering just witnessed what we seek first to understand. We affirm by giving advice, saying, make definitive statements, insurance, close your mind to other possibilities, and make our way through.
In the exploration and enforce differentiation, the second feels more powerful. We are powerful when we are taking a stand and enforce. We are stronger when we are saying something to someone, counseling, teaching, preaching, and information. We are taking our model of the world, maps and meanings that we created and we are imposing on others. And, yes, there are times for this. There are situations where even get paid for this, as a university professor, a teacher in a classroom a consultant with expert advice to offer, etc.
The other side of this distinction is feeling much weaker. When we were just asking questions, only to explore, trying to gather information, and trying to understand, coming from a place of openness and emptiness. We're not sure, not sure, not absolute, not final. And yet, questioning the brain operates in a manner that is a hundred times more potent. This is due to the nature of the brain, is "the final voice." Make a ask a brain and has a compulsive need to arrive at an answer! Place a question in a brain, especially one that can not answer, and I'll get brain mainly in excess of the unit for an answer.
How different from a declaration or recommendation. Because each brain and has answers, because we have already tracing some meanings, meanings that ideas literally "keep in mind," also operate as a defense against opposing ideas. Due to our minds as to meet and have a vested interest in what we already know, automatically eliminate ideas that do not fit. So to say something to someone who has no easy access causes the self-defense for ideas (though they are big and bright ideas) can not enter
Obviously, the communication, the meanings commune, working through the meanings (Dia-"through", logos, meaning), and to share and expand meanings, exploring and asking questions provides tremendously more powerful approach. That's why coaches and media love to ask questions. Outside the door they ask. Even ask questions about your questions. Explore sense, meaning, intention, etc. and massively assume little exploring. And when they say, can feel the difference.
Master Frame # 7: CURRENT STATUS DISTINGUISHING AND DESIRED
The final distinction is becoming increasingly necessary for professional and skill as a communicator and differentiation is the current desired state. This is the ability to look at ourselves and others and recognize two temporal dimensions, now / then.
Current State asks questions like: Where are we now? Where are you now? What is happening now? What are the challenges, problems, limitations, advantages and disadvantages, etc. of the current situation? This is the ability to be present, to enter the moment, to recognize and accept what is for what is no need to defend, argue, rationalize, or use any other ego defense mechanism. Obviously, this requires a lot of ego-strength-the strength to accept what is, without giving in or enter into a fight / flight response rate
Desire is the state of time dimension, the dimension of imagining, imagining and creating a future that we can go a. We obtain this by asking, "Where want to go? Where do we go if we make a change? How do we get? What
is involved in the trip? What resources do we need? What are the steps and stages along the way? How will we know when we get there?
In the current state need problem solving skills, and ability create a well-formed problem. Without that, it may be the solution of a pseudo-problem. Without that, we may be trying to work in a mere symptom, a paradox, or the wrong problem. In the desired state we need to create a solution well trained and use the questions to clearly define precisely what we want.
This distinction problem and the solution stored separately and empowers us to clearly define for us both think and communicate as we develop strategic plans, tactics and resources to make a dream come true. This distinction allows us to establish synergies then our distance from and to the energies of motivation for us build a propulsion system and do not have a strategy beyond the grounds of balance in which only dislikes are being driven or pulled by attractors.
Abstract: The increase to the highest of its Communication Excellence
– How well developed are these distinctions in their repertoire of frames communication?
– Which of these master keys for communication are the best?
– Which of these master keys that are weakest?
– What are your plans for learning and drilling them in their response style?
– What kind of life or a personal trainer has had or will have to unleash their potential to master communication?
Due to Neuro-Semantics is all about of how we create the frameworks that our use of language and communication, better communication performance, inevitably, is to establish frames more elegant and effective communication. And these distinctions are the keys to the most masterful in communication About the Author
To experience the power of Meta Coaching including the patterns that have been described here, contact The Coaching Room in Australia. Go to http://www.thecoachingroom.com.au or call us on 1300 858 089 (from within Australia) or +61 414 369 363 (from outside Australia) and find the coach that suits you. We offer coaching face to face, by phone and by Skype. Our fees are charged in AUD.
